Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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