I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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