got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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