That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
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Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
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I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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