I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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