three words: i give head
three words: not that well
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
