the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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