Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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