I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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