and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
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Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
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I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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