my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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