true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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