I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
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He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
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Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
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