So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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