I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
