i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
