i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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