I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
