Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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