Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
