it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Randomize