turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Did I show you my penis last night?
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We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
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He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?