I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum