It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.