I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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