you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
