You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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