Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
