It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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