I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
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I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
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As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize