hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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