honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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