So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
