Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
