he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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