You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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