you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
