butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
