RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My life is pants optional.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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