I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
where are you?
Hypothermia
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
