I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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