Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
