I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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