YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
