it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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