New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
