Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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