Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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