I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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