I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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