My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize