Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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