4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
your thong is hanging out like whoa
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
