Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
zippers are such a cool invention
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
