I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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