So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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