You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
