How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
