i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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